Why people don’t like the sound of their own voice

Have you ever listened to a recording of yourself and thought, Do I really sound like that? If so, you're not alone. Many people find their recorded voice strange, unpleasant, or even unrecognizable. But why does this happen?

The answer lies in how our brain perceives sound and the difference between hearing ourselves internally versus externally.

When we speak, our voice reaches our ears in two different ways:

Internal hearing (Bone conduction): Vibrations from our vocal cords travel through the bones in our skull to our inner ear. This process enhances lower frequencies, making our voice sound deeper and richer to ourselves.

External hearing (Air conduction): When we hear a recording, the sound waves travel through the air and into our ears, without the resonance created by bone conduction. This makes the voice sound thinner, higher-pitched, and unfamiliar.

Because we are so used to hearing ourselves through bone conduction, the version we hear on a recording can feel unnatural or even embarrassing.

Beyond the physical differences, there’s also a psychological reason why we dislike our recorded voice:

- Expectation vs. reality: Our brain expects our voice to sound a certain way, based on what we hear internally. When we hear a recording, it clashes with this expectation, creating discomfort.

- Loss of control: When we speak, we naturally adjust our tone and delivery in real-time. But when we hear a recording, we can’t control it, making us more self-critical.

- Self-consciousness: Listening to our own voice makes us hyper-aware of details—tone, pitch, speech patterns—that we usually ignore. This heightened awareness can make us overly judgmental.

If you need to hear yourself often—whether for public speaking, podcasting, or video content—here are some ways to make peace with your voice:

- Familiarize yourself: The more you listen to your recorded voice, the more natural it will start to sound.

- Shift focus: Instead of fixating on how your voice sounds, concentrate on your message and communication skills.

- Practice speaking techniques: Improving vocal control and confidence can help you feel more comfortable with how you sound.

Disliking the sound of your own voice is a common experience, caused by the contrast between internal and external hearing. Understanding this phenomenon can help you move past discomfort and embrace your voice as part of your unique identity.

Instead of cringing at your recordings, recognize your voice as an essential tool for expression and connection!